I look forward to the winter festivities this year, only because it ushers in bells and rum-laced eggnog and the end to a year that went sideways on me. In a nutshell, 2018 knocked me on my ass in more ways than one, and as the New Year rapidly approaches, a time when I’m usually eager to sort out new goals for the upcoming year, I’m still digging myself out from all the nut shells made by the snooty nutcracker soldiers and their hard-pressed moustachey mouths.
Setting goals, making plans, all the greatest intentions in the world simply failed to manifest any of my goals for this year. I’d hoped to finish The Starry Rise, the third and final volume in A Xiinisi Trilogy, back in the spring, but due to my back going out on me, I simply couldn’t stand or sit at my desk for very long to do the work required to meet that deadline. And this year turned into one that required my attention to be focused elsewhere: on the house, on family, on health and diet. The stop and go nature of this year took a toll on my discipline, my focus, my creative practice, which all now resembles a sled being dragged along by a drunk reindeer.
My writing dreams dash about like a cat wearing reindeer antlers, tipping over the Christmas tree and shredding the stockings. At the moment, I pine over my secret Santa wish list of what I would do differently if I could go back in time and start this indie publishing journey all over again. And I hope that once the presents have been opened and plenty of roast beast has been devoured, the green and grinchy creature of doubt that crawled inside me many months ago will slink out and return to wherever it came from.
2018 has brought its challenges but mostly an amazing gift—the gift of showing me all the ways of how I work and write and live are no longer aligned with who I’m becoming. As I continue to reflect on what needs to be changed for next year, Santa delivers a long soliloquy about the ennui of chimneys, drops the mic and waddles off stage with a grunt.
Yes, I look forward to the festivities this year, because I will be purging the old to make place for the new in many aspects of my life.
Wishing everyone a fabulous time during their winter celebrations and an amazing New Year. Cheers! Kit